So you say you want to learn how to surf? Are you sure? Maybe you should learn how to fish first. Surfing is a sport concieved of and practiced by Hawaiaan royalty, not the slob who prefers television to actual physical action.
If you can't get your butt off the couch then don't even bother, because you'd be better off burping up Budweiser during Monday Night Football! Much better for you to just go fishing off the dock. But if you want to learn how to surf, well, then do we have something for you.

How many of you ever actually get a chance to interact with water world? I know, I know; life is hard. There is a great recession and everyone is scared that they too will run out of money. Well, you might stand there showin' your rabbit ears and counting your change, but trust me, keep on counting, until you find enough money to buy a ticket down to Costa Rica.

Of course there is a recession here too, but we just don't worry about it, because we surf! Wall Street might be fine while small business suffers, but there are still waves coming in down here every day, and you simply can't buy the kind of satisfaction that comes from a great ride on a sweet wave.

Granted, you are going to have to learn the basics of surfing, but ask yourself - when you learned how to walk did you complain about that? And look at you now, using your walking skills every day, just to take your sweet smelling self to work some dead end job. Now is the time to pick yourself up from your boot heels, and take a look in the mirror. I know it's hard... the pale face is staring back at you through blank eyes, dusted grey with asphalt is confused and adrift in a world of finance. The distended aching jello belly of gastric fumes and excuses is just plain toxic.

Although we can't promise to fix all of your problems, we will absolutely be able to take care of some of them! Just look at some of the advantages of surfing:
surfing will exorcize your fat demons like the messiah throwing over the money changing tables in the temple. Surfing will end up dominating your life, and in a very good way! It will make you feel proud to be an active human being who is actually practicing something worthwhile. Dolphins, seals,
fish, and even manta rays surf. And, although not officaialy proven yet, whales have been reported surfing too! So go ahead and peel your rusty 'ol dusty self up off the sofa, and get a real job - surfing! True, you might not get payed as well, but you will certainly find the satisfaction that will fill that void in your life - because every day of surfing ends with a smile.