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Fish Libido

At first I couldn't believe what I was reading. Sometimes the news isn't always truthful, to say the least, but Wow! Here's what the associated press recently said about Prozac contaminants in the oceans of the world. The article stated that the pharmaceutical drug Prozac is slowly bleeding into the oceans and contaminating them with residuals from the drug. The effects, on a global proportion, are leading to a decline in certain species of very colorful fish.

The scientists who performed the study stated that the anti-depressive drug Prozac in some way blocked the sexual attraction between the brightly colored fish, impeding their ability to reproduce. The team of scientific investigators, headed by Vance Trudeau and Tom Moon, from the department of biology at the University of Ottawa, placed the medicine in the water of an aquarium tank full of colorful saltwater fish to determine the effects.

The scientists stated that the males did not respond to the pheromones produced by the females. The pheromones obviously being the connection between the male and female fish. It appears the male fish poisoned with Prozac were not able to release sperm, nor did they come out and attempt to get themselves a female. The article published in Aquatic Toxicology stated that, without question, Prozac destabilized the quantities of hormones in the male colored fish and also reduced radically the levels of estrogen. In the blood of humans it acts somewhat similar.

To date, there are over 55 million people around the world who take Prozac on a daily basis. Thank goodness they don't surf. O.K., Ok. Hear me out. Shut the door on your own brain for a second. Just because people don't or can't surf doesn't necessarily make them the great unwashed, the rank and file, the plebeians, the mob. But wow, imagine if those 55 million people went to the ocean to find pleasure on a daily basis instead of to their daily needed pill. I'll tell you what would happen. My life would turn to hell. The breaks I surf can't sustain an influx of surfers by the millions. I have trouble enough catching a wave in So Cal without a bunch of extra wage earners out their taking my bread. If scientists really need something to study, I suggest they try to figure out why there are 55 million people taking Prozac every day. That is the question. I'll bet you 54 million of them don't live by the beach and don't surf. You can bet your lucky Obamas that they live in Arizona and Prague and Ottawa.
Land locked by the millions, the poor bastards. Anyway, forget about Aquatic Toxicology. What we need to pay more attention to is the toxicology of self. If they could figure out why 55 million people need Prozac to wake up in the morning, maybe we could figure what is wrong with all of us. It's not the fish's fault if they don't find each other attractive.

I surf every day, and I promise you, the thought of taking Prozac has never crossed my mind. Of course I know what it is. I've got friends and their mothers make them take it. I guess they've supposedly got social problems the family needs to remedy. They can't pay attention in school. All they want to do is fight. They hate everybody and everything. They don't surf. They are, each and every one of them depressed and lonely; the perfect candidate for Prozac.

But my guess is that the issue goes much deeper than the Flouxetine can cure. Bad feelings invading the blood and moving towards the heart is obnoxious at least. If they can't be stopped life is not much fun. Science can invent pills that actually cure being a human, but they can't fix the human condition. The fish are dying!

The color of life is disturbing. What if the fish are not only absorbing our mood altering drugs, but what if they are also absorbing our moods and bad attitudes. Out of five billion people on the planet I wonder how many of them are happy? I bet you a lot of them work hard every day, do what they're told and still feel like shit. Imagine if the fish are party to that sensation on a daily basis. Since fish don't have any feelings, what a great place to transfer all our bad libido. Imagine if science could extract all of our depressions and bad attitudes and levy them on the fish. A bunch of depressed fish swimming around doesn't sound all that bad, I guess.

Until they stop reproducing and mess up the whole bloody food chain. First the little colored fishies get depressed and don't want to sex up their mates. Then, without the new little babies being born to carry on the fish tradition, the animal on the next rung up of the food chain starves and becomes depressed. On and on, up the food chain it goes until the man with a hat in the fishing boat isn't catching anything and he goes home depressed and hungry.

And what about all the other crap we are dumping into our oceans? It is estimated that there is over two hundred million tons of trash in the Pacific alone. Oil spills, toxic wastes, heavy metals and the dumping of other harmful materials are all major sources of pollution. It seems obvious that toxic waste harms living organisms and is quickly passed along the food chain until it eventually ends up being our seafood.

Leaking landfills, dumps, mines, and farms pour pollutants into the ocean on a daily basis. From farm chemicals and heavy metals to factories and pharmaceuticals, were all together when I'm surfing. Its one big unhappy family. Ah whatever. Nobody cares about meaningless issues anyway. I voted for Obama and look at what happened. Maybe I should start taking Prozac raining like outside right now and the surf has been flat for weeks. The fish don't have clean water and are dying, and they're jonesing for prozac.$$.
Hey - maybe i'll just go swimming and absorb the Prozac through my Pores!


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